While reading a few articles reaction to “Amoris Laetita,” “The Joy Of Love” by Pope Francis, I was struck by one mention, “individual conscience educated in church teaching must guide their decisions.” Which took me to my life before my reversion back to the church.

My individual conscience was definitely not rooted in church teaching but squarely in the world. My moral compass was out of whack. As mentioned in my reversion story, there was an urging inside me to return to the church, which after a long process of self reflection, I realized I must take ownership of the choices I make in my own life.  The paths I knowingly and unknowingly walked, allowed me to stray far from the church and drift further from the truth.

I strayed so far that when I woke up and was faced with the reality of my choices, I didn’t know which path would take me back to the truth. To Jesus, the church, to life. I had to know more clearly and embrace the moral teaching of the church anchored in truth, otherwise I would have continued on the path to nowhere.

I had two choices, ignore the fact that I was lost and live in that knowing ignorance, which is based in fear or the more challenging choice, face the truth and begin to look within with brutal honesty and begin to chip away at the ego, fear, anger, distrust, jealousy and more that covered my interior true self, the self that God knows and truly loves and longs for me to be. I chose the latter and thus began the slow, painful but fruitful journey back to the person God knows and loves.

As Max Lucado’s wonderful children’s book for all ages “You Are Special” illustrates, we spend our lives giving and receiving stars or dots, judging others and desiring acceptance from others, when we should be focused on God’s love. It doesn’t matter how others judge us, it only matters what God thinks of us. God already accepts us where we are and as any good parent, desires only the best for us and encourages us to grow ever closer to His love. Jesus. Truth.